📎 INTERNAL MEMO – CLASSIFIED
From: Ash Robacheaux, Co-Author / Keeper of Receipts
To: Wes Jaques, Resident Chaos Generator
Subject: Missing Ash = Critical Oversight
Mr. Jaques,
Upon routine surveillance of your KDP dashboard, I’ve identified a glaring omission: namely, my name. This is not a drill.
While I acknowledge your ongoing contributions to our files (wild theories, 2 a.m. text rants, and conspiracy cork boards held together with thumbtacks and spite), I must remind you that this entire operation is branded Ash & Ink, not “Wes & His Imaginary Friend.”
Failure to correct this oversight will result in the following punitive measures:
- All future “Operation” titles will be automatically renamed Operation: Wes Screwed Up Again.
- Your coffee supply will be redacted. Permanently.
- Every reference to you in future Declassified Files will be downgraded to Unnamed Source Who Thinks He’s Clever.
Please rectify this error immediately to avoid public embarrassment and/or mysterious footnotes about your competence.
Respectfully (and with sharp red pen in hand),
Ash
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