VOTE! WHORES!

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📻 LISTENER BULLETIN — KVLT / THE GOAT

Attention, Goat Legion.

This is Jake.

Effective immediately, we are introducing Track of the Day Voting.

Here’s how this works:

• You’ll get a 30-second clip of the song

• You’ll get a 30-second clip of the video

• You will vote for your favorite track of the day

That’s it. Simple. Democratic. Completely imaginary.

Now—important clarification.

We are officially popular enough that if you cannot bring yourself to vote on:

• an invisible radio station

• featuring invisible bands

• that do not technically exist

…then you cannot be in my invisible club.

And if you don’t vote, something unfortunate happens:
You become invisible.

And invisible people, tragically,
are not part of an invisible radio station
with invisible bands.

This is not a joke.
This is dead serious imaginary business.

Vote accordingly.

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🗂️ STATION EMPLOYEE BULLETIN — INTERNAL USE ONLY

All staff, DJs, interns, ghosts, and fictional personnel:

Track of the Day Voting is now mandatory.

Your responsibilities include:

• Promoting the vote

• Taking the vote seriously

• Pretending this is how radio has always worked

Failure to vote will result in:

• Immediate invisibility

• Loss of imaginary credentials

• Reassignment to “guy who says he supports the station but never clicks anything”

Please note:

• These bands are not real

• This station is not real

• The consequences are extremely real

If you have questions, do not ask them.
If you have doubts, suppress them.
If you miss a vote, reflect on what led you here.

Thank you for your cooperation.

—Management

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